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Direct Cremations & Memorials

by | Mar 4, 2023 | Funerals

What is a direct cremation?

Direct cremations are when the deceased is escorted by private black ambulance (so not a Hearse) to the crematorium for their private cremation. There are no mourners, family or minister present. There may be the Funeral Director, and this may be requested.

Direct cremations tend to be first thing in the morning, ahead of the booked service slots –this as at the industry’s preference

The deceased’s remains are then available for collection from the Crematorium or the Funeral director you engaged a few days later.

The vessel in which they are collected in is a standard one. It tends to be quite subtle and plain.

When & when not to?

Cost:

It might be monetary. Cost wise – these are the cheapest. You pay for the basic legal costs of disposing of the body by doing a direct Cremation and the relevant paper work. They may not get embalmed, as there will be no viewing, as this can potentially put cost up.
It is still dignified, but the ‘choice’ of any extras is what you forfeit. By having this option, you hand over all decisions. If it is a pre-paid packaged, then you get the basic. So the basic coffin, the time slots the FD and the crematorium decide, and no viewing or visits, and no one at all attending the actual cremation other than staff

That’s not to say you can’t upgrade, but you then start getting into blurry lines, so definitely worth a conversation with your local funeral directors. You might think it’s just about cost, but then you start to think about other choices that you are not willing to give up. So perhaps COST isn’t your strongest Value?

Family – or friends, of course. Loved ones… or politics!

They might need to be served and looked after too. A Direct Cremation may take a lot of your choice away as a mourner. But it might be that it’s logistics causing the issue. If ‘seeing’ the deceased is something the family need to do, then perhaps a direct cremation isn’t for you?
On the other hand, it might be that you the family want to absolutely separate the two. They might see their loved one’s body as a shell, and believe it to be ‘just packaging’ of their loved one, so a DM is fine, because they will have a memorial later. I touch on this in a bit. It might of course be that the family politics are such that you don’t actually want everyone in the room together – so you choose a direct cremation, and then people can choose to do their own thing to mark the passing and loss of a loved one.

Choice or even logistics.

This might be where memorials or celebrations of life comes in.

If the deceased dies a long journey away from where you, or they wanted their service or ceremony to be, or even their plot or place where you presumed the ashes wanted to be scattered… but the thought of your loved one being driven down the motorway or put on a plane is something that turns your stomach then there are of course a couple of options.
Firstly – the logistics of getting the ‘body back home’ is something the FD can resolve for you, if you wanted to still have a direct cremation but at one you knew was closer to you – then that can be done instead. But if cost, logistics, and politics are worrying you, and you want them to be cremated at the place where they died, then you liaise with whom ever is looking after your loved one. That might be the hospital. They are now custodians of the body, and a direct cremation can be arranged privately.

So you can do a direct cremation where they died (lowest cost option) or bring them home and do one at your Local crematorium. Of course, the second option would be a lot more expensive due to transportation logistics.

Once your loved one’s remains are home with you – you might want to then do a memorial or celebration of life, or an interment or scattering.

Memorials

These don’t tend to involve the Funeral directors, BUT they can… and I’ll talk about that at the end in the ‘Funeral ceremony, followed by Direct cremation’ section.

Memorial services are slightly different to ‘celebration of life ceremonies.’ but, really, only in tone. A memorial tends to have religious content and been led by a priest or religious leader (hence ‘service’), and will look back, in memory, at the life past and give thanks for it.

A celebration of life tends to be led by a Celebrant (hence, ceremony) and may, if not humanist, have some spirituality in it if the client chooses, and looks forward to the legacy left, the clues to still having their presence with you, and the way they make you feel when you think of them. There will of course be ‘remembering’ and ‘gratefulness’ too. So it’s mainly who you choose to lead the ceremony.

They TEND to be without the deceased present.

However….

You can incorporate and ‘Interment or scattering of Ashes’ at the service or ceremony.

Or… And this is where the Funeral Directors come in… You do a Direct Cremation AFTER the funeral.

This is where you might be able to accommodate everyone opinions on Cost, family and choice.

I do a lot of these.

Funeral ceremony, followed by Direct cremation

I hold a full on funeral ceremony, with the coffin of your choice, at the time of your choice, and your loved one may or may not have been embalmed (also your choice) but the big difference is that it’s at a VENUE of your choice – rather than at the Crematorium chapel.
After the Funeral, we have the ‘Recessional’ music, and the FD’s come in, collect your loved one, carry them out to the Hearse. The family then wave them farewell.

Your loved one is then with the Funeral directors, and the direct Cremation formalities then kick in. Your loved one has now been handed over, and your decisions are now over. You have said your farewell, people have come together, and you have had support all the way.

The funeral profession has come so far and there are so many options now that it can be overwhelming, so quite often you are not given these options unless you ask. If you ask, they will / should be offered to you. The key is knowing what is out there.
I’ve only touched the surface. There is always more to talk about, and I’m always happy to open the conversation

Helen Noble | Surrey Celebrant

Office

Surrey, UK

Phone Number

07787 530720

Business Hours

By Arrangement

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